If you say so. Let's see how to phrase this...I fear ceasing existence. Hnn..I don't care about death or pain or misery or eternity of suffering. I don't really care about darkness or heaven..Although obviously I would prefer to pass over into a greater life. That can't always be the case though and I can respect the way of the universe in that regard.

But to cease existence? To just blink out like a light? Something about that haunts me. I don't want to stop being aware of myself. Even if I were to forget all that I've known, as long as I was in existence..

Although, one could argue that the obliteration of memory is as good as extinguishing existence considering memory often makes the individual just that- an individual. If I were to forget my memories, perhaps I wouldn't care whether or not I ceased existence. Or would I still have the gut-feeling?

Who knows? I don't care about death. Sometimes, I even walk directly up to its door and knock. Pain is nothing. Brief, temporary, unpleasant. Like a heartbreak. But it stops and you heal and everything is okay after that. Nothing to kill yourself over, heh.

[....]

Ah...I also am pretty uncomfortable with dead fish eyes. That might be my unreasonable fear. They're just so disgusting though. Guh.